Another winter storm advisory – the second one in three days. But it is January 11 in northern Indiana so what else can you expect? The thing is I wasn’t supposed to still be here. My plan was to be back in the sunny, warm Dominican Republic by now, and my hope had been to avoid any kind of major winter storm. Until about 5:30 am on Jan 1, my visit home was going according to my plan. The weather in December was unseasonably warm, and we had a green Christmas. There had only been one day of freezing rain/sleet and one minor snowfall. I was able to travel around, accomplish all the things I needed to get done and visit all the people I wanted to see, including my mom at Hubbard Hill. New Year’s Eve as I sorted through what was to go and what was to stay and packed my bags for my return trip, I felt satisfied with my time home and ready to start work again. I had one last weekend to be spent at a lodge with eight of my children and their families. Then it was an overnight in Chicago before flying back to Santiago. Yes, that was my plan.

Proverbs 19:21 reads “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” One phone call early New Year’s morning revealed that God’s purpose was a little different than my plan. It was my sister, telling me that mom had passed away during the night. Shock, pain, panic, disbelief all rolled through me. When I saw on the caller ID that it was my sister, I knew it was about mom, but I expected to hear that she had been taken to the hospital or that the nausea she was experiencing when I visited a couple days earlier had gotten worse. Never did I think that she was gone.

It is strange how we can pray about things and yet be so surprised, shocked even, when God answers. You see, from the time mom suffered her heart attack just before I left for Guatemala in 2014 and we were told she had suffered major damage to her heart and only had 2 weeks to 2 months to live, I had prayed that she wouldn’t suffer a lot of pain, that God would take her home peacefully in her sleep. And that last Wednesday when I visited and she was sick to her stomach and couldn’t eat, the thought/prayer ran through my mind, “God if her time is soon, could you take her home before I leave?” And He did – just like I prayed – quietly, peacefully, in her sleep, three days before I was to leave, He took her home.

I’m not a stranger to grief. I’ve lost two older sisters and my dad, but somehow this time, death has hit me especially hard. Perhaps because I have been out of the country these last months of mom’s life and will be leaving again soon. Perhaps because suddenly I am the oldest living member of my immediate family. Perhaps simply because I myself am older. Whatever the reason, I am struggling – struggling to regain my health and energy after being knocked down with a virus after mom’s funeral, struggling to recapture my drive and enthusiasm for the work God has called me to in the Dominican Republic, struggling to summon up the will to leave my kids, grandkids and friends at this time. Yet even as I struggle, “…I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him…” (2 Tim 1:12)

I deeply appreciate your prayers during this time

·         prayers for my health, both physical and emotional

·         prayers for my sisters whose lives will be changed even more drastically than mine as they no longer sit with my mom every evening before bed

·         prayers for my kids and grandkids as we say good-bye one more time

·         prayers for safe travels as I return to the DR on Monday, Jan 18