The sun has been up for over an hour, shining brilliantly in a clear blue sky. But as I sit here, I realize the fog is creeping in, slowly but surely obscuring familiar landmarks, trees and houses. The sky is more gray now than blue. The sun is still shining but now its rays must fight their way through the haze. I wonder, who will win today? The fog or the sun?

Could this be a picture of the Christian life? When we first meet Jesus, the Son shines brilliantly in our lives – everything is fresh and bright and new. But as we continue on our way, the fog slowly creeps its way into our lives. We have struggles and disappointments. Bad things happen. Perhaps sin overtakes us, almost before we realize it is there. The Son is still shining in our lives, but now there is a haze, a shadow cast on our way. What once was clear and well-defined now appears in shades of gray. And, if we are honest, sometimes we wonder who will win.

I’ve been sitting here now for thirty minutes – waiting... thinking... writing.... Slowly but surely, the sun beat back the shadows. What was for a time obscure is now once again distinct. The fog has retreated. Yes, there are still clouds on the horizon and shadows on the distant hills, but the world in front of me is vibrant and alive. The sun won.

So it is with us. If we wait, simply wait on the Son; if we are quiet and think and listen, the Son will overcome the shadows. His light will shine into our world. He will make clear what we are to do – repent…trust…take action…or maybe simply wait. The clouds may still be there on the horizon, but for today our world will be bright and clear. The Son, you see, always wins.

 

 

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."                 John 8:12

Hello from Jarabacoa!

I know it has been a long time – too long – since I have sent an email update or newsletter or posted on my blog. It isn’t that I haven’t thought about doing it many times – I have. It just hasn’t seemed like I had anything to say or I didn’t have time to sort through all the things I wanted to say. I’ve been here just over two months and most of that time has been spent on two things – learning how to live in Jarabacoa and carrying out my duties in sponsorship while at the same time learning just what those duties are. This learning curve has been tremendously steep and I’m still climbing. It seems every day there is something new to learn. I’m not going to try to explain any of that here. That may be the topic of my next newsletter which will hopefully be mailed soon.

Instead, I just want to tell you about something that has struck my heart. On my lunch break for the last week or so, I have been reading the book, Kisses from Katie, which tells the story of a young single girl living an unbelievable life in Uganda. She has adopted fourteen Ugandan girls and started a non-profit ministry to help support several hundred other children. Someone recommended the book to me a couple years ago so when it showed up in a box of books that were donated to the ministry here, I took it. It is an incredible story of God’s love and His heart for children that is reflected in the life of one ordinary girl. I won’t try to recount the story here. I suggest you find the book and read it for yourself.

As I have read this book, one thought has kept running through my mind – I am not Katie. I do not love the way she loves. I could not live the life she is living. Yes, I have left family and friends behind to come to a foreign country where I still don’t really speak the language at an age when most people are thinking about retiring and slowing down. But, I have an amazing apartment in which to live. I have a great car to drive. There are challenges to life here, but I can get just about anything that I need – it just takes a little longer. I can even purchase a number of my favorite foods from the U.S. even if they cost a little more than I like to pay. I am surrounded by others from North America who understand me and are here to help. No, I am not Katie.

I want to be able to say that God spoke to me and told me, “It’s okay not to be Katie.” But He hasn’t. Instead He continues to convict me and challenge me with the example of Katie’s life. One quote from her journal, I think, says it all.

“We aren’t really called to save the world, not even to save one person; Jesus does that. We are just called to love with abandon. We are called to enter into our neighbors’ sufferings and love them right there.”   (Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis, pg 214)

 It might be okay not to be Katie. After all, I am Karen, a unique child of God with a special plan for my life specifically designed for me by my heavenly Father. But, it isn’t okay not to be Jesus to those whose lives I touch. That just is not okay.

Father God, please pour out your grace on my life. Help me, to love others the way that you love them, the way that you love me. Forgive me for the times that I have failed, when I have let hurt feelings or pride or my own ideas stop me from loving. I am so grateful for your mercy, that every day you give me new opportunities to love those around me. Thank you for your Son and his example of perfect love, thank you for your Holy Spirit who enables me to love and thank you for loving me.

 

A new command I give you: Love one another.

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

John 13:34

 

 

A New Place - A New Life

I’m sitting here in the early morning hours listening to the dogs bark and the roosters crow. It’s too early for the music to start but I do hear snatches of conversation from neighbors starting to stir. It’s cool right now, but the lack of clouds promises a hot day to come. Yes, I’ve arrived. I’m in my apartment at Jarabacoa, and it feels like home.

The trip from Guatemala to Santiago was good and basically uneventful – oh, except for the second security checkpoint in San Salvador that I didn’t know about where they completely emptied my carry-on suitcase and computer bag that I had so carefully packed to make everything fit. The repacking job didn’t go so smoothly, and I was one of the last people on the plane just before they closed the door.

It’s hard to believe that it has been two weeks already since I landed in Santiago. I have met so many people. I can find the bus station, grocery store and a couple gas stations. I have yet to find the ice cream shop where we had ice cream on one of our mission trips, but that’s on the list. I know my way to ANIJA, the Kids Alive school and The Ark, the Kids Alive children’s home. I’ve been to Palo Blanco, the Kids Alive care center turned school, but haven’t driven there yet.

Driving here is crazy – that’s the best way to sum it up. Every time I pass the large picture of Jesus, which is one of the landmarks in town, I thank Him for keeping me safe. Here are some of the rules of the road that I was given:

·         A turn signal or hand out the window means something is about to happen – not necessarily a turn or a stop.
·         Driving against traffic is okay if it gets you to your destination more quickly.
·         The full width of the road is used. This means that on a two-lane road you can be three or four vehicles across at any given moment.
·         It's okay to pass on the left and the right.

I have started becoming familiar with my responsibilities. One of my major tasks will be to check in the projects for the sponsors that the children do four times a year. It was so much fun to see so many familiar names on the labels. I have assisted in mailing the summer letter project, collecting the projects that were missing and distributing supplies for the Christmas project which we are starting now. Another of my responsibilities will be to visit each site regularly to check in with the sponsorship coordinators. This last week I visited Constanza – The Ark II and school. As the crow flies, it is only 15 miles from Jarabacoa but takes an hour or more to drive there because of the curvy mountain roads.

Lillie, the sponsorship coordinator at Constanza and some of her kids
 

I wish I could say that I have jumped right in with my Spanish and have been able to communicate, but that simply isn’t true. Spanish here is different than Guatemalan Spanish and seems more difficult to understand. The first week I was here, I went to the bus station to pick up a package. The clerk talked to me for 5-10 minutes. All I understood was that the bus wouldn't arrive until 5:00, the office closed at 4:30 so I needed to come back the next day. Who knows what else she said. When I came back the next day, neither of us said a word. With a big grin on her face, she just went back and got the package.

Sunrises are amazing!

Everything here is new, exciting yet scary at the same time. Now that I am here, it does seem like I miss family and friends and familiar places a little more than in Guatemala. But almost every time that I have opened my Bible, God has sent reassurance directly to me that He is my salvation; He is my rock and refuge; He is my hope; He has called me and will sustain me. So, with the Psalmist, this is my declaration:

 ¹⁴ As for me, I will always have hope;
    I will praise you more and more.

¹⁵ My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
    of your saving acts all day long—
    though I know not how to relate them all.
¹⁶ I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord;
    I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
¹⁷ Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
    and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
¹⁸ Even when I am old and gray,
    do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
    your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Psalm 71:14-18

My favorite place for early morning devotions.

Preface: I wrote this blog entry about a month ago, and have been rewriting it ever since. Now it’s my last Saturday in Antigua, and I sense the need to post this before leaving. This experience impacted me deeply. I don’t know if these words adequately capture my feelings and thoughts but, for now, it is the best I can do.

 

Even though the sun was shining brightly outside, the room we entered was dimly lit. Despite the many candles placed around the room, the darkness was palpable, almost as if it had a life of its own. I felt the weight of that darkness – physically, emotionally and spiritually. It was not what I had expected to experience on this day of adventure.

It was a beautiful day. I was on a “field trip” with four other students from CSA to visit Lake Atitlán. It is a huge lake, formed thousands of years ago through a massive volcanic eruption. The incredible blue of its water, the towering volcanoes surrounding it and the picturesque villages lining its shore make it an amazing place to visit.

In one of the villages, we visited Maximon. I wasn’t exactly sure what we were going to see. I did know that it was related to Mayan worship both past and present. In my mind’s eye, I imagined a statue in a garden, perhaps similar to some of those around the cathedrals in Antigua. That isn’t what we found.

At Maximon’s house, we were led into the small room lit by candles. Maximon sat on the floor – a wooden statue of a man, trunk and head only, no arms or legs. On his head were two hats, in his mouth was a large fat cigar, around his neck were many scarves. On the floor in front of him was food that had been brought as an offering and a small bowl where we were expected to put our admittance fee. Worshipers of Maximon would put their payment for their requests in that bowl or tuck their money into the scarves. Waiting there in the darkness sat several people who had come to seek his help.

La Azotea Centro Cultural (museum)

Legend has it that Maximon was a hedonistic man whose arms and legs were cut off because of his vices. Before that happened, he was possessed by a god and turned into a saint. Now he is the “grandfather protector” of Guatemala. Yet, for his protection and his help, these people who already have so little must pay more.

I know that Maximon is part of the Mayan/Guatemalan culture, and I respect that history. But this was not simply a display in a museum. This was reality – people literally sitting in darkness, looking for help where no help would be found.  In that moment, I understood the futility of expecting anything in this world – whether made of wood or electronic components or even flesh & blood – to meet our deepest needs.

Tu amor no se rinde - Your love never gives up

When I walked into my church service the next morning, the stark contrast hit me – light instead of darkness, life instead of death, hope instead of hopelessness. I love, serve and live for a God who is alive, who moment by moment gives me the very life that I offer back to him. He will never ask me to give more than what He has already given – the sacrifice of His only Son. No other god ever gave such a gift for me. No other god ever loved me the way He does.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12) I want to play a part in bringing His Light to the world. That’s what Kids Alive wants to do also. Yes, we will feed, clothe, educate and help with whatever is needed, but most of all, we will offer Jesus who is the Light of Life.

God Steps In

There are some days that you just don’t feel like getting out of bed. I hope it is okay with you if I admit to sometimes being frustrated, discouraged and just plain tired. Tired of rain, tired of five-hour classes, tired of not knowing what people around me are saying. Life is not always sunny, easy and, well, fun.

Today was such a day for me – at least it started that way. I was discouraged because of my lack of Spanish conversations. I am not a talkative person by nature. I don’t say a lot in English. It is very challenging for me to try to make conversation in a language that is completely new. If I can’t come up with questions in English to start or carry on conversations, how on earth am I going to do so in Spanish?

I’ve been talking to God about this for some time. I had no idea what He was going to do about it. Would He give me a new personality? Would He allow me to learn Spanish well without conversations? Would He supernaturally give me the gift of Spanish?

Today, He stepped in. At lunch all the others at the table finished, leaving only my host mom’s sister and me. It was one of those “awkward” moments. I had no idea if she spoke English, and I didn’t have a clue what to say in Spanish. She spoke first and asked some simple questions in Spanish. I answered as best I could. From that beginning we talked for an hour, covering topics like world poverty, facts about Antigua, Kids Alive and its work around the world, my life and her life. When I couldn’t understand what she said, she rephrased it or pantomimed. When I didn’t know how to answer, I just started and she helped me finish. It was the best conversation I have had in a long time.

 

 Later in the afternoon, I went to the ice cream shop. It is one of my favorite places to go. The owner creates his own ice cream flavors – Chocolate x 5, chai, curry, white pepper, double strawberry. You never know what to expect when you walk in there. I wanted to take his photo but didn’t know how to ask. Encouraged by my earlier conversation, I dove in and he taught me how to ask in Spanish.

 

Next it was on to the park. I have a buddy there – Steven. He sells gum for two quetzals (about 25 cents). One day he came up and introduced himself and we have been friends ever since. Today we talked. I actually thought up some questions to ask, and he was more than happy to answer. Our conversation wasn’t long because he needs to sell his gum to raise money for his family.

As I was sitting on the bench debating whether to walk home, I saw an older couple walking past the fountain. The man had some difficulty walking and something about him made me think that possibly he was suffering from dementia. The woman looked tired. As they went past, I asked God to bless them and watch over them, to meet whatever needs they had. It was a short prayer. Perhaps 10 minutes later, I saw the man walking by himself on the opposite of the fountain. He was going from one bench to another and sitting a minute on each before walking on. I looked for the woman but didn’t see her. What should I do? I wasn’t sure he was in any kind of trouble so I started praying again for his safety, for the woman to be able to find him. Sure enough, in a couple minutes I saw her coming, her eyes searching the park, looking for him. I watched to make sure she found him, then made my way home.

As I went, I realized something. I may not know the language very well yet where I am. I will never speak Spanish like a native even after language school and two years in the DR. But there is a language that I do know. It is the language that God speaks to my heart. As long as I understand that language and respond, no matter where I go or what language others speak, God can use me to accomplish His purpose. And that’s really what matters, isn’t it.

 

 

 

 These are the feet that are now walking the cobblestone streets of Antigua. In the last three weeks, these feet have taken me to some pretty amazing places and reminded me of some important lessons.

First, it was the Oasis in San Lucas where I spent my first few days. Kids Alive is doing remarkable work there rescuing girls from abusive situations and providing the avenues for healing, restoration and physical/mental/ emotional/spiritual growth. Jesus loves these girls and here they find a safe place to learn to know Him. How essential it is for us to get involved, to be the hands and feet of Jesus while we are here on this earth.

Then it was on to my host family in Antigua. Rosa and Joaquin are warm and friendly – and very patient with those of us who are just beginning to learn Spanish. Right now, two other students, Kate and Julian, are also living with us.

 

 



 

Here is the street where I live.

 

This is the "door".

 

But when you open that door - Wow! What beauty and warmth!

Most of the houses, stores and restaurants are like this – stern and somewhat foreboding on the outside, but when you take a chance and come in, exquisite loveliness awaits you. That we would all take that chance with people too….and discover the loveliness that exists in each person because they are created in God’s image.

More walks these feet have taken –



to the ruins of old cathedrals, to the central park, to stores and markets, to the macadamia farm (okay, I will admit we drove to that one).





These feet have strolled past indigenous vendors and street performers, down narrow sidewalks and under The Arch.

Often they take me past buildings older than I can imagine that have stood the test of time on their strong foundations. I am reminded of the importance of a firm foundation on which to build a faith that will last all the years of my life and perhaps even beyond.

 

Each day, my feet bring me to CSA (Christian Spanish Academy) where I meet with my tutor, Merle, for conversation and instruction. For five hours my feet are still while my ears, eyes and brain struggle to keep up with the flood of information. So many words, so many expressions, so many tenses and uses and terms. My head literally aches some days by the time we are finished. But, I am learning. Instead of totally listening to Merle talk, I can actually put a sentence together to contribute to the conversation. I can answer simple questions. I can conjugate present, past and now future tenses. And I can make Merle laugh with my sometimes ridiculous answers. So many things in life require little steps, one at a time, but eventually, if we don’t give up, great things will be accomplished. And, it’s best to laugh a little along the way.

Finally, at the end of each day, my feet bring me back to my room. As they rest from their labors on a comfortable bed, I am reminded that no matter what the day has brought – happy or sad, easy or difficult – this is not my final destination. God has a future in store for me that is more than I can ever think or imagine – heaven and eternity with Him.