Early Morning Reflections

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 When I was in the season of raising my kids, I never dreamed that there would be a season where I was living overseas far away from my family and home. Oh, I threatened my kids sometimes saying, “When you are all grown, I’m going to go to Russia and work in an orphanage.” The implication was that those orphans would appreciate everything I did for them which didn’t always seem to be the case with my own children. I never really imagined, however, that I would do such a thing. Now, I find myself at the end of that very season – almost 3 years of living overseas in a different culture, different language, different people – and I don’t quite know what to do with it.

I have four months left – four months to glory in the mountains around me, four months to hear the dogs bark and roosters crow, four months to sing worship songs in Spanish and watch the worship leader spread his arms wide and abandon himself to the Lord, four months to be greeted with hugs and “Tengas cartas?” Only four months. I find myself trying to soak everything in – the sunshine, the sounds, the people. I’m determined not to be sad, but still I cry at the oddest things.

I know it is all part of the passing of this season. I know that the next season of my life, whatever that looks like, will be good because God is good and He is the one leading me. I know that I will love being back in my home with many of my kids, grandkids, and friends close by. I know I will find joy in their laughter and play and deep contentment in conversations carried out face to face. I know that I will delight in the flowers growing in my garden, in the changing colors of the leaves, and yes, even the first snowfall. I know all these things and yet….

I’ve read how once you have served overseas, your heart will always be divided. Your love for home never goes away, but now you have a love for another “home” that is written on your heart just as deeply as the first. No matter where you are, there is always a part of you that misses the other place. I understand now what they meant.

I hope it is okay that this blog post is a little different. I hope those of you who are around me now will offer a little grace when those unexpected tears fall. I hope those of you at home never think that I regret my decision to come home, because I don’t. I hope, trust, and believe that God walks with me as this season ends and a new one begins.

We are all in different seasons in our lives and all go through those beginnings and endings. My prayer for all of you reading this today is that you, too, will know the presence of God and His abiding care as you walk through the seasons of your life.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11a